Rand Paul Denies Being Racist, Like A True Racist.
Rand Paul recently made an appearance on the Rachel Maddow show. Those of you not among her sixteen viewers may recognize her as the female MSNBC anchor who looks like Julie Andrew's understudy in Victor Victoria. Speaking with Rand Paul, she opened the world to a side of Rand Paul that the world was not ready for. Rand Paul is racist. Speaking about the Civil Rights Act Rand Paul asserted that private businesses who do not receive federal funding should be allowed to run their business how they like. Obviously this was code for, “businesses should segregate and stop serving black people." Rand was caught red handed with this juicy comment, “what I’m saying is, is that I don’t believe in any discrimination. I don’t believe in any private property should discriminate either. And I wouldn’t attend, wouldn’t support, wouldn’t go to.” Spoken like a true racist. What Rand Paul doesn't seem to understand is that since the Civil Rights Act was passed Americans overwhelmingly regret having to interact with minorities. Businesses who's primary goal is to make money, would be essentially forced to segregate by the demand of the massive super minority of racist Americans. There are hundreds of KKK chapters spread out across America with an estimated 5,000 members. This alarming .000016% of Americans would make it virtually impossible for a business to profit without being racist. A business owner in conservative small town College Station explained, “If one klan member protests my shop, how can I stay in business? We only have 203,371 people in the area. If I don't segregate I will only have 203,370 customers. It would ruin me.”
The economic issues regarding businessses who don't take any federal funding are complex. Some people believe that if you put your life into a business you should have the ability to run it as you see fit. If you want to allow smoking or not, you should be able to do so. If you want to allow people to carry firearms or keep them out, you should be allowed to do so. Clearly segregation is hotly debated. As the membership levels of KKK members indicates, being associated with racism is something a tiny portion of most Americans want. Businesses that ban minorities would be raking in the dough as people clamor to be seen as racist. The demand is so high that some speculate that businesses wouldn't even have to provide a service or product to make money. Just owning a building that says no blacks allowed would bring in the finances. Famous black stereotype Uncle Tom had this to say, “I wouldn't spend my money anywhere that didn't not let me spend my money there. Racism is cooler and more popular than watermelon and fried chicken.”
Idiot savant and liberal economic guru Paul Krugman weighed in on the issue saying, “There is no better way for soon to be failed businesses to make money than to exclude a large portion of the population from buying their goods or services, and doing so in a way that the rest of the population overwhelmingly disapproves. If we followed Rand Paul, I can say with certainty, we would be ushering in Jim Crow Laws.”
Finally, Rand Paul had this to say, “I really think that discrimination and racism is a horrible thing. And I don’t want any form of it in our government, in our public sphere.” He may also disagree with what we have to say but would die for our right to say it. His denial is an affirmation that he is most definitely a racist.
Tyson Bam
