Debt Ceiling Agreement Reached
Democrats and Republicans in Washington D.C. reached an agreement late Sunday night on the debt ceiling ending the long running melodrama. A press release from the White House announced that both sides have agreed to disagree and say “fuck it” on the debt ceiling. The deal includes $0 in spending cuts and $0 in revenues and both sides have agreed to blame the other for any fallout that ensues.
President Obama criticized Republicans for being intransigent and refusing to include revenues which he said “were absolutely essential to any compromise” and said to be an item on which “[Obama] will not bend, no how, no way.”
Speaker Boehner attacked the president and Democrats for being inflexible on “revenue increases” an item which they “would not pass under any circumstances.”
Policy pundits have warned of draconian cuts to ensue when the debt ceiling is reached but the cuts may be more “Drago-nian,” reminiscent of the cuts which destroyed the USSR after Dolph Lundgren lost to Sylvester Stallone in Rocky IV.
Finger pointing is at an all-time high in Washington. Democrats blame debt problems on Republicans for Bush and unfunded wars in Afghanistan and Iraq while Republicans blame Democrats for unsustainable entitlement programs.
Democrats are convinced more spending can continue to let Americans have their cake paid for by the rich so they can eat it too while Tea Party Republicans guarantee we can’t afford any cake to eat at all.
Americans are united behind one common solution. They want all gain and no pain.
Tyson Bam
July 31st, 2011 >br> br> If you enjoyed this you might also enjoy Reasoning with Radicals
