Democrats Explain, Enforcing Laws Creates Crime
Conservatives along with a 70% minority of Americans support a new law in Arizona that specifically targets ethnic people who like ice cream. Ben and Jerry's is outraged over the ordeal calling it a "travesty" and asking "Why do they hate ice cream?" In protest they are releasing a special edition Mexipolitan flavor that uses red, white and green in support of illegal immigration. To purchase this product a person must show proof they are illegal. Conservatives rushed to defend the law citing a couple murders and a few drugs that were allegedly products of illegal immigration. Obama was quick to fire back at the misguided law explaining, "You don't eliminate crime by making laws and enforcing them. I mean think about it. When you make another law, that is just another crime that can be committed. What we need to be doing is getting rid of laws. If we didn't have laws we could completely eliminate crime in the country." Leave it to conservatives to be on the side of crime.
The battle of messaging raged on and some tired old white guy fired back something that I didn't listen to but I am sure it was stupid and regressive. Obama then made an appearance on the George Lopez show explaining, "Let me be clear, I am going to do something about immigration that will be so comprehensive it's incomprehensible." Since no one watches George Lopez it took a while for news of the appearance to spread. Liberals were flabbergasted at the news. Robert Fibbs had this to say, "I am just surprised he would go on that show. I mean, I know George Lopez is brown but it is George Lopez. I'm as infatuated with the president as anyone but this takes him down a notch." The silver lining to the story was that George Lopez is now out of the seventh level of ratings hell and the administration is taking fast action to spin the appearance as an act of compassion by the president.
Calderon, the Mexican president came to plead his case to America explaining that Mexico is losing all of its best workers. With that announcement morale in Mexico dropped from its normal 2 out of 10 to a -16. There is speculation that this was the result of a day trader with fat fingers but there has been no confirmation from the Office of What's Left of Mexican Morale. Calderon showed his sympathetic side making a plea to Mexico's "lost sons and daughters" asking them to return home "with as much stuff as you can carry" to their beloved country. He did however state that he did not want the Guatemalans back. It was clear that they are not welcome back in Mexico.
Tyson Bam
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